Hey There!

We're really excited over here this week. Today I'll run up to the airport and pick up my stepdaughter for a visit. I have serious doubts my kids will be able to focus on anything at school today. Their little brains will be too busy reciting, "Sissy's coming! Sissy's coming! Sissy's coming!" Good thing they don't have cell phones-they'd be calling me. "Is she on the plane yet? Has the plane taken off?"

I don't think I can grin big enough. Still too tired.

Last night, I started wearing a mouth guard because I grind my teeth in my sleep. It's a stress thing--I grind my teeth even when I think I'm having a relaxing night. Lately, it's been really troubling my husband and I finally decided to listen to him. I carry a lot of tension through my jaw even when I'm awake, and sometimes have to consciously check and see if I need to relax it.

There's a lot going on that stresses me. Money issues are always high on the list. We'd been waiting for a while for a substantial check, only to learn just before Christmas it won't be coming at all. I'm also struggling with time issues. It's been hard for me these last few months to set up and stick to a writing schedule that fits into everything else I need to do in the day.

The conclusion I've come to is something has to go. I have to lighten my load. And I'm not happy about the decisions I have to make, but I know in my heart it's for the best. That's not going to make it easy, though. And most of the issues I'm having is that it's going to hurt people I care about, and cause them extra work.

But, as a mother, I have a primary responsibility to my family. My children. And I need to keep that in focus. As a Child of God, I have a responsibility to fulfill my roll in God's plan on this earth. That's the writing and publishing books. And in these latter days, I feel time is of the essence. People I care about will question the practicality and logic of my decisions--some of them anyway--but I have to do what I know is right for me and mine.

There's also the serious health issues going on in my extended family. We are at a loss how we can adequately provide support to those giving the care, while extending our love and thoughts to those who are ill. Distance and money are the handicaps there.

So, when I lay me down to sleep every night, my mind fills with all the things that need to happen, that aren't happening, and that should happen. It's little wonder I grind my teeth, isn't it?

Peace.

Oops

I missed posting yesterday, but I have a good excuse. Sort of. While I should have prepared my post earlier in the week, we had some sickness issues, and Tuesday was a complete wash. In fact, I was up until 2 am Wed morning just catching up on everything I had to to Tuesday.

Yesterday, I didn't post because I had a book signing. Living in Tooele makes book signings inconvenient, unless they're here in town. That rocks. :) But, I drove into Orem yesterday, which meant I had to leave early enough to get out there, allowing for any weather conditions and traffic back ups that may occur--and arrive early enough to set up. Coming home takes much less time, seeing as I can just pack up and go.

Lately, I've been begging my kids for patience. I don't know how it happened, but I ended up being the most popular person in the house. EVERYONE wants their time with Mommy. My 9 yr old daughter commented recently that, now that I'm a writer, I have no time for them anymore.

Of course, I explained to her that it was my day job that took away the time. If I didn't have to work, then I could write while they were in school and have time for them when they get home, instead of trying to play catch up on my writing every evening.

But she got me thinking. I've never been a great time manager. I set up schedules that make perfect sense on paper, but I can't implement in my life. And December is going to be a mess, with 11 signings in one month. Plus my day job. Plus my family. I know they're really going to feel like they're getting the short end of the stick by New Year's.

I had the brilliant idea to just take one kid with me to each signing, save the one I did yesterday. 5 kids, 10 signings, that's 2 signings per kid. And they'd get one on one time with me. Wouldn't that be great?

But reality set in, and I thought, "What if the stores find it incredibly unprofessional that I bring my kids along to book signings?" Nix that idea. I HAVE to make a good impression--I'm a newbie. And I want to be invited back. A lot. :)

I try to equate it to them like this: the more books I sell, the less I'll have to babysit. As it is, I bring in less than $200/wk. If I can make that up in signing and speaking engagements, then I won't have to work and I'll have more time to write.

Of course, you know that when I say I won't have to work, I mean at another job. The being an author thing is a job. So, when you think about it, I'm working two jobs right now. Kinda stinks. But we all do what we have to do. This writing thing is my dream; it's what fulfills me inside. I love the kids I look after, but it's not where my heart is. If that makes sense.

Life is fun, no? :)